Who's in your network?

Ahh, the little things.

Those people that remember you had a doctor's appointment today and call to see how it went. Your grandma, who even though she has 7 grandchildren and 14 great-grandchildren, still remembers to send a card to your son (with a check for all those Bakugan balls he loves) on his birthday. The friends who know that you love books and loan you ones they think you will like. The person that always buys you the perfect present (my birthday is 5-11 if you're one of these people).

I'm terrible at these things. And I'm trying to improve.

But what I rely on (to a fault) is my network.

I'm bad at birthdays and anniversaries and wonderful gifts. My husband, my sister, and my mother are experts at this.

I'm not great at networking. I have several amazing friends who I count on for introductions.

My writing isn't funny. My brother in law's is hilarious.

But I can give you a great view of the big picture. Figure out a way to whip up your dinner fast. I can write you a resume or marketing piece that will kill. I help people do these things all the time. And they help me with the things I can't do.

Do you know your strengths? Your weaknesses? Take inventory.

Start strengthening your strengths. Maybe more importantly, start surrounding yourself with people who can fill in your weaknesses, and whose weaknesses are your strengths.

Maybe you'll get peanut butter in their chocolate.

Fail big

I write a lot about failure. About getting past it. About moving beyond having bad ideas. About not being afraid to do it.

This is because I believe that your capacity to fail is directly proportional to your capacity to succeed.

Fail big. Embrace it.

I'll leave you with this gem from the business section of Failure Magazine. This is from an interview with the authors of Billion Dollar Lessons: What You Can Learn from the Most Inexcusable Business Failures of the Last 25 Years. It's a story about Tom Watson Jr, who led IBM in its glory days. Clearly, he saw the value in failure.

There was an IBM employee in the early 1960s who had run a business unit that lost 10 million dollars. Watson called him in to headquarters. The guy walked into Watson’s office kind of weak-kneed. Watson said, “Do you know why I called you here?” He said, “I assume you called me here to fire me.” Watson said, “Fire you? Hell, I just spent 10 million dollars educating you. I just wanted to be sure you learned the right lessons.”

Little things

It's the little things that make the biggest difference.

When I was pregnant, I was crazy. Really. About two steps short from complete insanity. Perhaps that's being too kind. I was probably actually two steps over the line.

Once, I became so upset by a bagger at the grocery store that I could barely function well enough to drive the five blocks back home. You see, he had packed my celery right next to my chicken. RAW chicken! TAINTED celery!!

When I brought the groceries into the house, I was so distraught that I couldn't even tell my husband what was wrong. Poor dear. He probably thought my or the baby's health was in jeopardy. Finally, through hysterical tears, I told him of the carelessness of the bagger (how COULD he pack my groceries like that???)

Calmly, my husband told me to take it easy and go lie down for a bit. He assured me that he would wash the celery. With soap. Holding that knowledge in my mind, I was able to go take a nap.

I will forever hold my husband in the highest regard for that action.

In these trying times, take a moment to think. Whose celery can you wash?

Embarrassing moments

A friend of mine was at the grocery store with her two small children. She had them in one of those unwieldy giant carts shaped like a car. As children often do, especially in public places, they began to bicker and annoy each other.

When my friend leaned down to break up the fighting, she failed to notice a large wine display directly in front of her cart. Of course, she ran right into the back of it, knocking several bottles of wine to the floor where they smashed in a glorious mess in the center of the aisle.

The people that were in the vicinity took one look at the blood red puddle on the floor and ran the other direction. Grocery store employees flocked over moments later, barking at my friend to "BACK AWAY!"

This is exactly how it feels when our ideas are met with rejection. It's embarrassing. Mortifying. Often, we get no support from people around us, and others are encouraging us to throw in the towel and back away.

But really - what's the worst that can happen? No one that I know of has ever died or even been physically injured by embarrassment. Even though I'm sure many have wished it. You can live through the discomfort.

What did my friend do after the wine incident? She held her head high and finished her shopping. She needed groceries after all.

When you get rejected, brush it off and finish your shopping.

Ice Cream

There are two ice cream sellers that I really love. Graeter's and Jeni's. They each have a variety of flavors, but my favorites are Coconut Chip at Graeter's and Black Coffee at Jeni's.

Do you have a favorite ice cream? I bet you do. Why do you love it?

For me, it's hard to say. I definitely like the giant chunks of chocolate in Coconut Chip, but I can't tell you why I like coconut or coffee flavors. I just... do.

Ideas are like this. Some people like certain ideas more than others. For no real reason that they can name. What if they like someone else's ideas better than yours? Does it mean your ideas are bad? I don't think so. Maybe they just like Toffee Chip, while your ideas are more Salty Caramel.

Don't get down when someone doesn't like your ideas. Either come up with a flavor that they'll enjoy, or find someone else that has tastes closer to yours.

Change your point of view

Last week, at a networking function, I met Petersen Thomas. He's an artist (how cool is that?).

After I told him I was a writer, he shared a problem with me.

"Galleries are always asking for written descriptions of my work," he said.

I didn't really see the problem with that.

"If I could write words about it, I wouldn't have to paint it."

Ahh. To get people to come look at his artwork (which takes the place of many, many words), he needs to describe it in a compelling way with words. Kind of ironic, really.

So what does he do? He writes from a different perspective. Actually, his dog's. And it works.

Maybe the next time you're looking for new ideas, you should pause - and think of the problem from a different perspective. It doesn't matter whose. A fresh set of eyes is all you need.